February 29, 2000

Student killed in Michigan elementary school shooting

Yesterday BrainLog posted Martin Scorsese's top ten films of the 1990s (thanks, Dan!). A couple of the movies I had never heard of, a few more I own and love-- but Martin, really, Bad Lieutenant?! Ewww. Anyway, I thought I'd start Tuesday off with a photo of a naked and sobbing Harvey Keitel. Enjoy.


Speaking of disturbing scenes and wooden acting (Mr. Keitel excepted) the Sadistic Sims Photo Album tells a sad tale of love, betrayal, and fire.

Bob Jones U. speaks out on all the controversy: "The one-world principle--every effort man has made, or will make, to bring the world together in unity--plays into the hand of Antichrist." That's right, striving for global peace and understanding means you're going to Hell. (from Bird on a Wire)

Note to the Leap Year Society: Don't worry... there's always 2004 to plan for. (from Strange Brew)

Sure, the Daily Show just wants to make us laugh, but maybe we can all learn something from it too. Okay, maybe not, but yesterday's show piqued my interest about giant squid (yes, I did want to be a marine biologist as a child). Read about the squid's role in legends, or just look at this gooey photo of one.

Good news for western Canada and Amsterdam: The THC in marijuana may help cure brain cancer.

I'm currently trying to learn Javascript, my first programming language (if you don't count Pascal.. which I'm sure you don't), and stumbled across the Bookmarklets homepage. They're a nice, small way to approach Javascript, and with the help of a short tutorial, my browser's toolbar is covered in totally useless but very satisfying shortcuts.

This has probably been blogged to death already, but if you haven't seen it yet, some delightful French folk have put 203 Simpsons episodes online.

See the Driveways of the Rich and Famous (and Pia Zadora)!

February 16, 2000

Court opens Pinochet's medical report

Last night I was in line to buy tickets for "Scream 3" when I noticed one lonely picketer from the B.C. Projectionists Union, and remembered why I hadn't seen any new movies in the last two years. If you live in B.C., help the union fight the proposed 60% wage cuts by avoiding first-run movie theatres, or at least by bringing your own snacks. As usual, our local anarchist comic guy Nick O'Teen has some choice words on the matter.

I've never heard this one before: The Washington Post reports that "heavy Internet users are socially isolated." I'd come up with some amusing response, but my ICQ keeps blinking, and I'm way behind on my e-mail.

I picked up the latest issue of Shift anxious to read about how they managed to get this cover photo. Turns out it's really a Bill Gates impersonator, but I still dig the funky fresh look.



I was probably one of the last to hear about it, but the whole IRC/CNN Clinton Chat fiasco makes me giggle.

Speaking of tech matters, thanks to the Jargon Dictionary non-programming types like me can finally grok how to use "kluge" in a sentence. Really, it's the little things that get me through the day.

'Don't hate me because I'm beautiful and exploited': About-Face lists their top ten offensive and demeaning magazine ads.

"There are simply too many people who don't understand that a migraine headache is more than just a bad headache. I am personally pretty tired of explaining to people that I have a migraine, only for them to respond, 'Yeah, I've got a headache too.'" Sing it, sister.

All right, I confess... I've turned into a Hawaii 5-0 junkie. It's the ultimate late night viewing package: the thumping music, the intense zoom shot on McGarrett in the opening sequence, the absurdly oversized cars... all I really need now is the t-shirt. And I really, really want that t-shirt.

While I'm making confessions, I should also admit that I'm hooked on cryptic crosswords. With a little help, maybe I'll even manage to finish one sometime. Yes, I know, crosswords are tres geeky (umm.. in the uncool sense), but I also play a mean game of Scrabble.

"This is about ethical choice. The idea is not to press the button but to have the debate about whether you would press the button." -- Pureeing goldfish in the name of art.


February 15, 2000

Canadian Internet company denies link to hacker attacks

The Oscar nods were released today, with no big surprises on the list, except possibly the South Park movie's nomination for Best Original Song (for "Blame Canada"). I can't see it winning, though: you can just imagine what horrible, horrible things Trey Parker would say at the podium. Speaking of horrible, the Golden Raspberries announced their nomination list this week as well -- Vote Paulie Shore for worst new star of the decade!

Salon has a nice book review of "No Logo" by Naomi Klein. Big corporations must be perceived by the public as political entities, if we want to continue the "rising opposition to the brand bullies."
The regular reader(s) of Pith (Hi, Mom) may be familiar with my continuing search for wacky haiku pages. The two latest entries in this underappreciated genre are The Full Deck's weekly haiku news headlines, and this page of computer generated haiku.

"The actual wall of molasses was estimated to be from 15 - 30 feet high and moved at 25-35 miles per hour in the area around the tank." Remembering the Great Boston Molasses Tragedy, America's stickiest disaster.

The aluminum foil deflector beanie: Finally, mind control prevention for the masses. (from pretty much everywhere)

Is it just me, or are the trailers for Buffy becoming shorter and more cryptic every week?

The two AOL Search users who found Pith by looking for "Vancouver marijuana" and "marijuana drug test" must have been very disappointed, but really, we're not that kind of weblog.

Does the sight of squirrels fill you with dread? Nope, me neither, but apparently the creators of "Scary Squirrel World" feel differently.

February 14, 2000

Cyanide spill in Danube 'worst environmental disaster' since Chernobyl

I spent a fair chunk of time this morning trying to find an ecard that didn't feature cupids, teddy bears, or the word 'wuv'. Luckily the good folks at Tackymail have a nice line of non-Hallmark cards. As well, this year you can have your heart and eat it too, thanks to these yummy heart recipes (including one for "Hearty" Hash Browns. Hahaha...ewww). Of course, no February 14 is complete without reading about the St. Valentine's Day Massacre.

There are a surprising number of wacky official holidays, like "Northern Hemisphere Hoodie-Hoo Day" on the 21st. "Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbors' Porch Night" may be on August 8, but if memory serves my family celebrated it on a regular basis during the summer.

"Employing brain wave-tracking technology licensed from NASA, Capita Research Group will measure how effective banners are in causing an emotional response in Web users, and how that translates into click-throughs and brand recall."

Canadian World Domination, part II: Well known people who happen to be Canadian. (from Bird on a Wire)

Film critic Rex Reed was arrested for shoplifting three CDs, including one by Mel Torme. They say any press is good press, but really, Mel Torme?

Take off, eh? Hoser! (from Yuppie Slayer)

English frogs turn out to be horny toads: "There is a steady stream of them who keep trying it on with my gnome, but once he falls over and they find he is made of plastic they hop off."


February 12, 2000

Vietnam Protester Caught After 30 Years And Jailed

I'm in the mood for some 'retro' silliness today, starting with It Seems Like Yesterday's collection of magazine articles from the 50s, 60s, and 70s. Highlights include "Who's Who Among Hippies" (1968) and "Roller Skating Fever" (1980), written by Abby Hoffman for Chatelaine Magazine, if you can imagine such a thing.

Let's just quietly move on to Chickenhead's collection of vintage cigarette ads. In my favourite offering, Julep Cigarettes promises that "the miracle mint in Juleps freshens the mouth at every puff. Even if you're a chain-smoker, your mouth feels clean, refreshed at end of day." But is it an action hero for your gums?

Clever and stupid: Harry Shearer's "Found Objects Archives" has such 'wild feed' goodies as Dan Rather musing about his hair and UPN executives explaining the mesmerizing inner meaning of their logo.

"Mr. Duke, with the capable assistance of Mini-D, his imaginary issues co-ordinator, has written a most powerful case for his candidacy." Vote Duke in 2000! (from Flutterby)

I just noticed that Jim from "Have Browser Will Travel" and I are in the same city. He also has a nice QuickTimeVR movie showing a scenic view of Victoria, B.C.

The Page of Bad Candy: eating "Fruit Salted Plum Suckers" so you don't have to.

'You like me! You really like me!': Pith makes its hotshot debut at number forty-seven on the Metalog Ratings... really, y'all are too kind.


February 11, 2000

Police probe bomb blast on Wall Street

Now that I'm not a student any more, I'm finding all sorts of online resources that I really could have used during my checkered academic past. The latest is SparkNotes, which are basically free Coles/Cliff Notes (only with the added feature of message boards). My best 'Notes' investment was for "The Canterbury Tales"... Middle English is not very conducive to cram sessions. (Although "Gulliver's Travels", with all it's oh-so-witty allusions to obscure politicians of the 1720s, is another 'Notes' fave.)

I know, I know, it's Friday, so I should quit with the higher learning and get right to the stick figure death movies and leisure suit conventions.

How's this for odd concepts: Monica Lewinsky and Tom Green have scheduled a press conference for today to make a "a major historical announcement." I can't even begin to imagine what the gruesome twosome might say. Really, the mind boggles.

"In essence, Goshawk [insurance underwriters] said it needed assurances that 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire' would ask harder questions and select dumber contestants."

"Harper's" has an interactive version of their Index. This entry was particularly amusing:
Number of monuments to Warren Harding in Washington, D.C. : 0 Number of monuments to Warren Harding's dog : 1

Scientists have created a new form of matter-- Is it just me, or does "quark-gluon soup" sound like a spicy Klingon dish?

Ernest, we hardly knew ye.


February 10, 2000

British children 'born for sacrifice to Satan'

Wacky conspiracy theories are a wonderful way to start your day, yes? The media seems to be full of them, what with all the hullabaloo about the recent DoS attacks. Actually, I did find a couple of theories that weren't so wacky, but my faith in the bizarre was restored with The Page's treatise on the 'Day Trader Conspiracy Connection'. It ended with these ominous words: "The communists, mainly through technology and .com stocks, will crash the market and will be the only rich people left." Which means that Communists are only in it for the money.

Hooray for Hollywood: Patrick Warburton is The Tick! Mallrats 2-- possibly coming to a theatre near you sometime in the distant future! (latter link from twernt)

The folks behind Phonebusters.com dress up in phone suits, rush up to strangers on the street, smash their cell phones, and then run away very quickly. Now that's entertainment. (from squidfactory)

I've been really bad about updating so far this week, but all of a sudden I've become absurdly busy for an unemployed layabout. I solemnly promise to be much more entertaining and alert next week. No, really.


February 8, 2000

London hijack crisis 'could last days'

For some reason I'm feeling rather surly about the Valentine's Day hype... the whole 'more cash=more love' equation that now pervades the event is plain WRONG. Let's just "reduce [Valentine's Day] to what it once was ­ a time for beheading and time for finches to partake in unabridged sex."

Brad's Cute List got me thinking about making one of my own, until I realized that I am really a one-Ewan kinda gal. Oh sure, Benicio Del Toro is nothing to sneeze at, and I have been known to rent "George of the Jungle" on more than one occasion, but you can just call me the Future Mrs. McGregor.


The February issue of "Modem Junkie" has a follow-up on the much discussed "Trust or Consequences" article of last month, including a quotation from Pith that I wrote very early in the morning and without much forethought. I stand by my opinion, though, that many weblogs do not claim to be, nor should be treated as, pinnacles of 'new journalism', or 'old journalism' for that matter (I will say, however, that Robot Wisdom is one of those that does imply journalistic integrity, and should therefore be held to certain standards).

Bad news: A new study has found that optimists live 19% longer than pessimists. Bah- I bet it's too late for me already.

Confuse-a-Farmer: Make your own crop circles!

The "Picture of Weblogs" applet lets you do some attractive, if completely useless, blogger navel-gazing. (from blueblog, who defies you to link to him)

Why use a plain old guard dog to protect your stash? Having four alligators and a handful of snakes instead is so much more exotic.


February 7, 2000

Report Says NATO Bombing Killed 500 Civilians in Yugoslavia

'Except for Strom Thurmond': Scientists have discovered giant tube worms at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico that can live for up to 250 years, "longer than any other single creature lacking a backbone."

Sad news from the entertainment front today with the word that Gene Wilder is battling cancer. I think I'm gonna rent "Rhinoceros" tonight...

It's officially 'Japanese Food Night', thanks in part to this tasty collection of recipes. I'm going to pass, however, on the Hawaiian Spam Roll. Eeeewwwwww.

While I'm on the subject of food, what is with those new "Shake'n'Bake" commercials? You know, the ones that feature the chickens talking about their fear and loathing of ending up on the dinner table... is that supposed to make me hungry (poor little talking hens!)? Really, I don't have any links to go with this rant, but I just find the ads infinitely disturbing.

"That idiot on wetlog made a serious error of judgment with his pathetic weblog junior high portal. The moron must be--" Oh. Wait. I actually thought it was pretty amusing...

Clonaid, the world's first human cloning company, has just been established by the Raelian Movement (who believe that "life on earth was created scientifically in laboratories by extraterrestrials"). Because nothing says "medical credibility" more than odd religious groups.

"Nick, now operations director at publishers Cassell and Co, refused to discuss details of the Queen's underwear, adding: 'All I will say was I could see no labels. They were unremarkable.'"

Shameless promotion of friends and/or family: Thanks to Adrian for making Pith a scary new banner ad... it's nice when "outsourcing my graphics" means walking to the living room!   

February 4, 2000

Scientists find glue could replace human muscle

Sure, most celebrities would rather have a new show on Fox than appear in ads over here, but in Japan, Jodie Foster shills for a temp agency. Maybe it's the scripts: in one ad Leo has a touching moment with his new car, saying, "Don't give up, my little friend!" Umm.. yeah.

In an interview with Steve Brill, Bob Pittman of AOL predicted that instant messaging will merge with the television set. Finally we'll be able to be spammed while watching commercials.

In the spirit of 'What kind of dog are you?' comes, oh yes, 'What kind of tree are you?' Apparently I'm a fig tree, and as such am "very strong, a bit self-willed, independent, does not allow contradiction or arguments, loves life, [my] family, children and animals, a bit of a social butterfly, good sense of humor, likes idleness and laziness, of practical talent and intelligence." (via riothero... any fifteen-year-old who reads Marx and listens to the Minutemen is okay in my books.. even if he did spell Pith's name wrong =P )

"I'm giving 'er all that I got, Captain!": Scotty becomes a father at the age of seventy-nine.

   "Bill, the crocodile
   cop: bust the monster in me,
   Plunge my Lake Placid"
It's the Battle of the Bills (Paxton and Pullman), waged with haiku. No, really.

Charleton Heston fans appear to have trouble grasping the concept of "fansite". The NRA, the Bible tapes, the atrocious spelling, the apes running amok.. really, there are so many jokes I could make right now, I've gotten all overstimulated and need to lie down for a while. (from misterpants)


February 3, 2000

Experts warn of surfing risk

Money, Money, Money: ABBA turned down one billion dollars to stage a comeback tour, and proceded to talk smack about their contemporaries. "'We have never made a comeback,' Bjorn Ulvaeus [said]. 'Almost everyone else has. I think there's a message in that.'"

Says Bird on a Wire: "I just can't get enough of those wacky Landover Baptists," and, gosh darnit, she's on to something. Really, some days I feel like just making Pith redirect to Bird (or twernt, BradLands, Strange Brew, PopCulture JunkMail, and Medley, for that matter).

"Hi, I'm Matt Damon. My favourite Golden Globes moment was when I snuck up on stage and accepted the award for best actress as my alter ego, 'Hilary Swank.'" Fametracker discusses the Golden Globes. (Better late than never!)

Project Denny's has a dream: to visit every Denny's restaurant in the world, a mission pondered by many a hungover college student. (from 24-hour Drive-thru Weblog)

It's J2K-- Jesus of the Week 2000! Now featuring a moving portrait of Moses eating a corndog.


February 2, 2000

Postsecondary students going to the wall in protest

Keep those hats and gloves handy, because it looks like there's at least six more weeks of winter ahead: both Punxsutawney Phil and Wiarton Willie cast a shadow this morning. Of course, no holiday is complete without merchandising, or so say the "Committee for the Commercialization of Groundhog Day" (who also sell tacky t-shirts declaring "Hasta la Winter.. Baby").

Newsweek.com has posted the long version of their interview with six of this year's best directors, including Norman Jewison (The Hurricane) and Sam Mendes (American Beauty).

It was 'reader response' day yesterday for Pith, with a new record of two e-mails being set. First off was JP of Dumbmonkey, who pointed out this story of a Berkeley couple being arrested for hugging a tree while naked (ouch!). Next, Mike from LarkFarm had some serious bones to pick with the Mother Jones article mentioned yesterday: as well as reviewing some of the technical inaccuracies in the report, Mike notes that "the article doesn't seem to consider the obvious null hypothesis: that Glocks are involved in shooting incidents because many police officers carry Glocks. With 65% of departments adopting the Glock, one would expect 65% of the incidents to involve the Glock, no?" Yes. Besides, I make it a point never to argue with someone who knows exactly where to find the safety on a handgun...

The Daily Howler has some interesting articles reviewing the work of the Washington Press Corps.

The Robot Wars site features streaming video of the best matches from the 1995 and 1996 championships. It's kind of like wrestling for geeks, only the robots have more personality.

Prepare for Canadian World Domination!