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June 30, 2000
Projects and long weekends and bears, oh my! (Bears?) Pith will be back on Monday, quite possibly clutching our head and moaning about celebrating Canada's birthday a little too much. Enjoy your weekend.
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"RadioShack: You have money, we have pockets." Ahh, the blissful anti-corporatism of fake ad sites... excellent.
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| son of 'pilfered content' |
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| questions? comments? |
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"But, Jess," I hear you say, "what I really want to know about is what life's like in the British prison system!" (Next week I'll answer the burning question, "How can you hear what I'm saying when I'm in front of my computer?")
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June 27, 2000
Pass me a barf bag quick, 'cause I'm feeling a little queasy after reading BusToCanada.com. Yes, folks, there is nothing like a group of Americans with an axe to grind to inform voters about foreign national policies. The intentions of their lone Canadian corroborator, The Fraser Institute, should be fairly clear from the organization's motto: "Competitive Market Solutions
for Public Policy Problems". (In other words, market first, public second.) Bleah.
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| I can be a lazy, lazy person. |
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In a poor attempt to maximize your entertainment while minimizing the ammount of time I spend looking for said entertaining stuff, I bring you a sampling of the Best of the January archives: Visit the Museum of Dirt! Shop 'til you drop at LordCo! Speaking of which, will your pet be taken in the Rapture?!
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| "Jess recommends:" |
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| random .com nonsense |
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Thank goodness for the Guide to Being l33t (at l33t.com, no less). I'm feeling cooler already after learning such essential points as, "you cannot praise anything Microsoft does, ever (but it's ok to own Microsoft stock, because let's face it they make mucho cash - but they still suck)."
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| always going forward 'cause they can't find reverse.. |
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Up until yesterday, I thought that you couldn't get worse Star Trek special effects than when the Enterprise is zipping around space in the opening credits of the old series. I was very, very wrong. Yes, that's right, Star Trek: the Animated Series not only must have had lower production values than the original, but it also conclusively answers the question: "I wonder why Shatner doesn't do any voice-over work now?" So... monotone. I am.. getting.. very sleepy...
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June 26, 2000
It's Monday morning, and what better way to start off the week than with a puzzle? Bam! -- Spot the similarities between Webpage A and Webpage B. (Hint: Try to use the phrase, "they're both pretty darned similar" in your answer.) I mean, obviously I appreciate a nice stolen graphic as much as the next person, but just linking to it off my server can only put me in the mood for a little guerrilla marketing.
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| you know you want to! |
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| I think I have to go read some Chaucer now... |
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For some unfathomable reason, the other day I spent almost an hour looking at painfully bad "Survivor" websites. Moving quickly past this horrible personal admission, though, I did manage to return from the land of irritating background music and screenshots of Colleen's bum with a few interesting nuggets. The official CBS site, for example, has a sampling of the audition tapes of wannabe castaways who didn't make the cut. Fans of outake-style footage might enjoy this 'behind the scenes' clip in which the Creepy Host Guy is obviously improvising his little heart out. And finally, apparently a person claiming to be the real Jenna popped by a chat room at SurvivorSucks last week... of course, it's pretty much impossible to tell if it was the real deal or not, but the transcripts of the chat are fairly convincing. (Sigh. So much time wasted on bad television-- I read books and stuff too, you know. No, really.)
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| bite the pepper! |
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Oh, sure, I could have updated yesterday, but I had to make a crucial decision between Pith and the Iron Chef in New York special. And as much as I adore each and every one of you, oh faithful and generous readers, the minute that half-mirrorball full of live crabs descended from the dancehall ceiling, I knew I had made the right decision.
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June 24, 2000
British Telecommunication is planning on enforcing their supposed trademark on hyperlinks. What's a weblogger to do? Wait, don't worry, because BT has promised to go after ISPs and other large companies instead of individual users.. in other words, this one's for the money, folks.
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| virtually vicarious living |
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I may not have been to a Glastonbury Festival yet (not through lack of desire, I assure you), but at least by watching this live crowd cam, covering my floor with mud, and putting a Chemical Brothers album on repeat I can recreate the experience in my own home.
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| Exciting Presidential Campaign Update: |
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Apparently, more Americans would prefer to take Dubya on a holiday than Al Gore. Well... I know I'm sleeping better at nights knowing that pollsters are keeping themselves busy.
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| let's get wacky! |
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Do you think that the cause of volcanos is overpopulation? Are you convinced that John Lennon was in fact killed by Steven King? You, my misguided little friend, need to visit the Kooks Museum (you probably also need to lay off the cough syrup, but we'll leave that for another day). Sadly, the Kook Museum is currently closed to new entries, or else everyone's favourite Timecube Guy would without a doubt have an honourable mention.
If Little Green Men are more your paranoid style, be sure and visit this autopsy site, which features the oh-so-icky photo comparison of an alien and human dissection.
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June 23, 2000
Well, goodness me, I feel like I'm having guests over but forgot to tidy the place up... Greetings to you folks who found your way here from the EMAZING site and mailing list! The promised archives aren't quite organized at the moment, but for those who are interested, here's the links for June, May, April, March, February, January, and finally December. Feel free to send me some mail, and visit some of the other excellent weblogs that I've listed at the bottom of this page. Meanwhile, I've got to dash off to work, but I'll be back tonight with an update. Enjoy!
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June 22, 2000
"'Let me introduce you,' said Trillian. 'Arthur, this is Benji mouse.' 'Hi,' said one of the mice. His whiskers stroked what must have been a touch sensitive panel on the inside of the whisky-glass like affair, and it moved forward slightly."
For those of you foolish enough to have not read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by now, you can find it online.
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Salon is featuring a profile of a graffitti artist whose body of work centres around Andre the Giant. If nothing else, check the article out for the poster on the first page-- delightfully bizarre. While searching for more info on guerrilla art I stumbled across Better Duck Hip Hop Film Studio, which is currently promoting their new film ("Sticky Fingerz") as being "like Rear Window meets The Texas Chainsaw Massacre". And, yes, I would quite possibly pay to see that.
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| Wendell's back, and this time it's personal |
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"Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detatched, but then penguins often do." (In other words, here's some recent Bulwer-Lytton winners.)
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| a girl can't get nothing past you folks... |
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My previous comments about the lack of online material for "Internet Slutts" provoked the largest reader response yet... and I'd like to take a moment to thank both of you for pointing out WallyandMurk.com, the show's "official home". (Oh, and thank you, Uncle Joe. Pbbbth.)
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| mea culpa |
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Did I say I was going to finish tweaking the new design and set up the archive pages today? Obviously, I meant tomorrow. In the meantime, does anyone remember how to set up Blogger to automatically insert the same characters into each post? (ie: the Blogger post box pops up with previously specified text already in it)
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June 21, 2000
What's all this now? Why, it's a mostly complete redesign! The archives and search features won't be up and running until later today, but feel free to let me know if you find any severe problems. (There are also plans afoot to convert Pith into some mySQL-driven monstrosity..)
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| Wait-- who said that? |
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June 19, 2000
Warning: This post has no content or value, and exists merely to allow me to say to myself, "Check it out, self-- we're blogging from work. We love our new job." This, of course, could just bring up all sorts of questions about multiple personality disorders, but we prefer to concentrate on the positive and not the fact that we're talking to ourselves.
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Well, the final phase of the New World Order of Bill Gates and his ilk has officially started with the BBC revelation that computer-lovin' kids are the popular ones: "Once thought of as a geek by his peers, he is now the really cool kid in the class." Popular media just has to recognize the inherent hip factor of bad perms, and I can retroactively delcare myself the coolest kid in grade nine.
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If only I had known about the Postmodern Essay Generator a few years back when I was taking a class in "Modern Thought"... quite clever, nonetheless.
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| Things that you quite possibly have no interest in, but I wonder about anyway: |
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Who was Steve Reeves, and why is he mentioned in a line from "Sweet Transvestite" in Rocky Horror Picture Show? Why, Mr. Reeves played Hercules in the eponymous 1959 movie, of course. As for the reasons behind the saucy name check... well, a few photos should suffice as an answer. (He definitely seems Frankenfurter's type.)
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| Note to self: Cancel plans to have Pith hosted by a regular rotation of smack-talkin' muppets |
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I caught the final few minutes of a most bizarre television show last night. Called "Internet Slutts", the series seems to consist of a few vaguely naughty looking puppets checking out real life wacky websites and then poorly making fun of them. (I couldn't find a reference to the show online, which might say something.)
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Any website with the tagline, "Ever wonder what happens when you attach model rocket engines to plastic toy trucks? We do." is all right by me.
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Woo! I finally experienced the Working Man's Dream this morning when I got to tell my old cranky boss to "take this job and shove it". Jess-sightings will probably be a bit rare over the next few days, though, while I spend lots of time ingratiating myself with the new, groovy boss. The job is dead! Long live the job! See y'all on Monday...
Where good magazines go when they die, part ii: Ah, the late, lamented Sassy magazine. If you've got that craving to revisit the glory days of sweet Mary Kaye and bitchy Christina Kelly (among others), go visit this small collection of past columns and articles. Even more fun is this sampling of what was apparently the final, unpublished issue of the mag. Maaan, does reading this stuff ever take me back...
Cases of car theft in Burnaby, B.C., a suburb of Vancouver, rose fifty percent the weekend after "Gone in 60 Seconds" was released, once again proving that Canadians need to go see better movies.
Fun with British Tabloids: Mel Gibson may be posing like a hero in previews for his upcoming film, "The Patriot", but some historians argue that the real-life inspiration for Gibson's character was actually a cruel, bigoted man who married his cousin. (Inspired by this bit of news, I did a Google search for "marry cousin" which immediately turned up ChristianMarriage.com-- and yes, Virginia, you can marry your first cousin in the eyes of God. Just so you know.)
British parents are in an uproar over a new children's book, of the "where did I come from?" variety, that included drawings of adults, umm, posing with toys. One parent observed, "My daughter Claire was very confused when she saw the skateboard cartoon."
"Urge to kill ISP rising.. rising...": @Home is acting flakier than a Butterfinger bar today (mmmmm.. Butterfinger), and I'm not in the mood to keep playing silly buggers with some proxies. Hopefully, everything will be back in action tomorrow. Enjoy your Tuesday...
Hmmm. For various and sundry reasons I appear to have neglected to sleep last night. Here's a few links to tide you over, but it's time for the wicked to get some rest.
The Corn Cam that made the rounds a while back has become quite the hit, and in response the folks responsible for it are now thinking of setting up more cams for soybeans, cattle, and hogs.
Finally, the horrible truth about Crystal Pepsi.
Next time you're on vacation in West Virginia, I would advise skipping the creepy Mother's Day Shrine. (From the most amusing Roadside America, "your online guide to offbeat tourist attractions")
Apparently one of E!Online's spies has discovered who the last four contestants on Survivor are. (For the record, I blogged this site while holding a sheet of paper over most of the monitor. Why ruin ten weeks of delightfully crass television?)
Box Office Mojo has the latest movie box office figures and some scarily accurate predictions for the following week's grosses.
"Two Americans from anti-oil organizations were detained, shackled, questioned for hours and then placed in cells overnight at the Calgary airport." I am quickly growing weary of this kind of news. Last week it was pepper spray in Windsor, this week it's stories of Canadian Immigration officials abusing their power in preparation for an anti-oil protest in Edmonton... and neither story has made more than a whimper in the national media. In fact, the only national news item I've seen at all on the Edmonton situation was a brief mention that the local police force was gearing up to bash som-- er, protect the peace, with lots of footage of cops in training on how to properly use their batons. No discussion of the issues, no coverage of the actual protestors... it's all very disheartening.
"Other Canadian News": My friends all used to accuse me of just being a crotchety old bugger whenever I would start on Costco's (a discount warehouse store) elitist membership policies, but The Quebec Human Rights Commission has confirmed that Costco "cannot refuse membership to welfare or Employment Insurance recipients". Hah! Vindication is sweet.
Bah. What good is this Internet thing anyway if no one's yet bothered to create an unofficial "Head of the Class" website?! The only interesting mention I could find was from a 1988 issue of Media Watch, which briefly lambasts the show for it's leftist slant (third from bottom). (On the up side, though, according to the Dead People Server, all of Mr. Moore's wacky kids are still alive and kicking.) Oh well. I guess I'll just have to satiate my desire for retro adolescent-y goodness with the excellent Feelin' Groovy: the world of singing teen idols.
"I was a teenage Doctor Who fan": Here's a short history of Tom Baker's scarves. I should also point out this article, entitled Adric: An Appreciation, for my sister, who was nothing short of devastated when as kids we saw the episode where the whiner-- I mean, that sweet boy -- was blown up real good.
I took a look at the week-long online Hollywood memorbilia auction, but didn't really see much that was particularly famous... if you're looking for potentially overpriced discoballs, flashlights, and prop guns, though, be sure and check it out.
Lake Effect mentioned The Simplified Spelling Society yesterday, which reminded me of this proposal for Ugh-free Spelling (light=lite, thought=thot, etc.). Pros: Make spelling tests easier for second graders everywhere. Cons: ought=aut, and thigh=thie? Confusing.
You, dear technologically advanced reader, probably already know of this, but I've been discovering the righteous fun that is SpamCopping. There is just something so exciting about getting your first "the spammer's e-mail account has been revoked" mail from an ISP. Oh yeah, doin' the anti-spam boogie now... (On an almost completely unrelated topic, can anyone recommend a good stand-alone newsreader?)
The Blair Witch Meal Deal (from Japan): One Blair Witch burger, one side of Stickman Fries, and, my favourite, a Missing Drink. Ooh, very scary, kids. (from PCJM)
It's a busy week, so not much to report today. On the bright side, I may have found a job that will allow me to occasionally blog while at work... I'm getting all tingley just thinking about it. Hopefully, all will go well, and I can catch up on my blogging and email (I'm not just being antisocial, I swear!) tonight. Oh, and thumbs up for anonymous voicemail, whoever you are. Word.
Reason to Love Canada, #276: There is one beaver for every person in the province of Manitoba. (And, yes, technically this link is about the imminent slaughter of beavers, but I've chosen to ignore that angle. Poor little things.)
I finally got myself a copy of Eudora (partially because The Brad speaks highly of it), but does anyone else feel the need to shout out, "LOG!", everytime the little 'you have mail' tune sounds off?
Okay, imagine that you need a nice soothing domain name for, oh, let's say it's for helping alien abductees. Would you pick AlienScalpel.com? Me neither.
I spent some time yesterday seeking out creative Canadian websites, and didn't end up disapponted. The best sites I found were: Canadian Content, a culture zine featuring an "Ask the Beaver" column; Hinternet, a satirical 'newspaper' ("According to new CRTC Internet regulations, bulletin boards will be referred to as Baffin boards and a quota will be imposed on the amount of information Canadians can download in order to keep hypertext stocks from depleting."); and the excellent GetaJobYouFreak.com, the "Canadian work search resource for freaks and other miscreants", which turned out to be both entertaining and informative.
Ah, memories of Lee Majors take me back to my childhood. And, really, who can forget such striking quotations as, "That's enough, Scarlett," and, "I'll allocate O.S.I. funds... for an extra pot of hot coffee." Ha ha ha! Ahem. As we all know, if it's useless, you can find it on the Internet, which probably explains the Six Million Dollar Man quotation page.
I was flipping past Entertainment Tonight last night as they were advertising a future feature on the eligible Kennedy bachelors. Vacous, yes, but the real kicker was when they included a photo of William Kennedy Smith in their supporting photo montage. William Kennedy Smith?! Didn't he.. I mean, isn't it popular opinion that.. umm.. Oh, never mind. Sometimes watching Entertainment Tonight is like watching programming from another galaxy.
One of my favourite winners of I.D. Magazine 2000 Interactive Media Design Review was Willing to Try. Very nifty. (from kottke.org)
Yesterday the Ontario police used pepper spray on anti-Organization of American States protesters who were attempting to peacefully hang a banner on their own side of a fence. I'm not sure about you, but I feel better knowing that Canadian law enforcement is ready to go to extremes to keep Important People safe from signs that might hurt and confuse them. Argh. The Independent Media Center has an excellent site for protest updates, including up-to-the-minute radio coverage.
It's a little out of date, and you've more than likely read it already, but nevertheless this Onion article is hysterical: "[P]izza-delivery guy Lyle Kelso, 24, reported to roommates that at around 2 or 3 a.m., he personally witnessed, like, five or six dudes suddenly jump out of freakin' nowhere and just start totally whaling on this one guy."
I hate to start Monday off with a terrible admission, but I can keep it a secret no longer: "Survivor" was pretty darned entertaining. Actually, to be precise, it wasn't the (ahem) harsh conditions or goofy races that were so much fun, but the promise of having a handful of completely unlikeable characters bring treachery, double-crossing, and good ol' fashioned namecalling back to prime time reality television. (Harry Shearer, on the other hand, argues that it's all about the torches.) In any case, brush up on your snarky commentary for next week at SurvivorSucks.com. (latter from IScavenger)
I'm posting this link to Dr. Rix's Spanish Pronounciation Page just so I can remind myself to cryptically use the phrase "Don't forget that the Spanish have no schwa" more often in casual conversation.
Rumour has it that Microsoft is thinking of moving to B.C. if the proposed break-up is put into motion. Our minister in charge of tech and trade was reported as saying that Microsoft would be "a welcome asset". Heh.. I bet he's doing a little 'I rule' dance as I type.
"You should know that the bizarre universe of Lynch and Cronenberg is an acquired taste that's not for everyone.": A good, if old, review of the Directing Daves' careers.
No maple syrup for me today, thanks. Canadians' latent urges to poison people have been in the headlines in the last couple of days, what with a university coffee machine being tainted with arsenic, and the discovery that a military officer was repeatedly dosed with all sorts of chemicals by his platoon. I might have to rent "Young Poisoner's Handbook" for the weekend, just to fit in with this latest national trend.
A poem billed as the latest by Gabriel Garcia Marquez and recently lauded in the Mexican press has been proven a fake. It is now believed that the work was in fact written by ventriloquist Johnny Welch, in honour of his dummy, "Mofles". No, really.
In celebration of the fact that I just got my hands on the new Elastica album (well worth the hassle for the first three tracks alone): British Rock, a nice collection of UK band sites; and a brief musing on how to know if you're a Britpop girl. (Side Note: A pox on whomever is letting Elastica.com go to such waste.)
Get down and boogie with the Periodic Table of Funk! (from Weblog Wannabe)
Hmph. I'm suffering from severe weblog burn-out this week. Thanks to everyone who's sent nice mail lately.
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